Surgeon General's Warning: Parenting May Be Hazardous to Your Health

September 30, 2024

Surgeon General Vivek Murthy, a father of two, has a new public health warning that parenting may be hazardous to your health. The advisory paper is called “Parents Under Pressure,” and it reports two-fifths of parents say that on most days, “they are so stressed they cannot function,” and “Two-thirds are consumed by money woes.”

Modern reasons for this report are 1) Child care prices are on the rise, 2) Parents have more demands on their time, and 3) Technology looms as a parenting challenge. It is interesting to me that all three of these modern stressors for modern parents deal with spending less time with their children, and letting other adults and voices be a larger part of their lives. But that is not what concerns me most today.

As I looked at an article written by Daniel de Visé (USA Today, 9-13-24), I noticed something missing that has become a national problem of epic proportion. That is, the attempt to have a marriage, a family and raise children without the help of God or the church. As I look back on my years of marriage, fatherhood and being a Christian, I know, without any doubt, that God guided my wife and I through many perilous times that could have destroyed our marriage and, our family and resulted in having raised four very wounded children. I want to share some thoughts about what I think will help put the joy back in parenting, and lower the stress.

First, money problems consistently rank at the top of the list for struggling parents. When our last child entered kindergarten, we had a family meeting. We asked the kids if they wanted their mother to work outside the home. At this time, they were 5, 8, and 11. It would mean nicer vacations, fancier clothes and more discretionary money for things we couldn’t afford to do at that time. They asked lots of good questions and then, unanimously decided they wanted to see their mother at the end of each school day to welcome them home with a snack, attention and support. The decision changed the direction of our family in a positive way.

Second, I have never made much money as a minister. I have received applications for government assistance regarding school lunch and other programs available to a family with three kids. I know balancing the budget is hard and I’ve supported and prayed for many single mothers who have the greatest challenge balancing time with children and earning enough money to eat and keep a roof over their heads. I can tell you the next, most important decision we made was to tithe to the work of the Lord. There is power in tithing. When we got lazy and fell behind in our tithe we always ran out of money. When we prayed, asked for forgiveness and painfully caught up with our tithe, we never ran out of money.

Third, my wife and I lived by the old adage, “A family that prays together stays together.” I have seen this when God would protect me from the temptations of bad decisions that would sabotage my marriage and family. God would convict my sinful soul, close doors or send faithful people to help save me from my own stupidity. When our first child was born, my wife and I decided that we would always take the kids to church every Sunday. This was especially difficult for my wife. While I was preaching from the safety of the pulpit, she was a single mom with rambunctious kids who wondered how they could escape church.

When my children were in college, I asked them what they remembered about growing up in the church as teenagers. They talked about the mature adults in the church coming up beside them and encouraging them when they thought their dad was an embarrassing goof ball. The teen years can be some of the most difficult years to raise kids. The church family played a key role in helping my children continue their growth into adulthood with a strong faith.

I could write a book about all the ways God strengthened my marriage and our family through the churches I worked in, and I might do that one of these days. What I hope you get out of this is a reason to write your own book about how God and His church helped you have a great marriage and a great family.

Do you think your parenting experience is/was too stressful? How important was God and His church in raising your children and protecting your marriage? What changes might help you and your spouse at this place in your life as a parent or grandparent? To God be the Glory.